His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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