I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
