i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
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