Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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