please come you make the beer taste better
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
