I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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