your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize
