Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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