My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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