I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.†I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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