Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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