Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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