I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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