I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize