My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
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