Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
