none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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