im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
