How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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