dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I love having hate sex.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
When did angry sex become our thing?
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
