I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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