i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
