I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
