is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
