I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
