i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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