I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
time to smoke my breakfast
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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