Acid is not a monday night drug
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
