I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
My life is pants optional.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
is it fun? or sober?
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Randomize