Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
