So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Terrible idea I love it
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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