Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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