I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
