my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
