I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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