There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
