need another drink. this is the easiest way
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
