i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
