I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
