not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
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