I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize