Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize