what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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