i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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