Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
