I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
