we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
