i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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