I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
