Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
