When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
