yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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