He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
