i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
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