I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
