Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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