Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
