Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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