So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
