please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
