I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
