I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
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