please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
