you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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