how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
