fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
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