shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize