hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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