i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
